I really miss Bill Hicks

Dear Dane Cook,

For the love of humanity man stop deluding yourself into thinking you are any of the following:

• Funny-- I know this will be hard with all those frat boys hanging on your every movement, but it would honestly be best if you come to terms with this now
• Creative-- We get it already you can't write your own jokes. So essentially you are this generation's Denis Leary. You know what you did Denis!
• Performing for a hearing impaired crowd. There is loud and appropriate and then there is you. Please refrain from crossing the line, sir. You are making a scene.
  
• Actually have anything that resembles a joke. This axiom should be paired with the first super-bullet but the reality of comedy is that a joke lack humour, so I figured this point really needed to be hit home.
• Hitler. If anyone understands this comparison I will bake you a batch of cookies.
• Have greater endurance than Dave Chappelle. Quit fronting.
  

As a side note, you really should thank Kevin Costner for beating you to death with a shovel in Mr. Brooks. I swear that made me laugh so hard. So I'll give you credit for making me laugh that one time. It's kind of like Spiderman, everyone gets one save.

With that we come to the end of another episode of Laura's Angry Open Letters. Stay tuned for more embittered rants and jabs at the mediocrity of the media today!