I'd want to play Bette Midler

Has anyone ever noticed that acting in a musical biopic really doesn’t do much for an actor’s career? Seriously folks, look at the facts. Many actors give great performances as musical stars, but then fizzle out or start down the path to type-casting. I have this theory which I have labelled with the term: Biopicitis. In essence, upon acting in a musical biopic, an actor’s career will become plagued with egoism, type-casting, and failure to achieve further greatness.The result is then a stagnation and utter chaos.

Let’s go through some of the case studies, shall we?

1. Gary Busey- He played Buddy Holly in what can only be described at the Buddy Holly Story ( damn if I could only make millions by deciding on biopic titles). Hasn’t done much of value since (No folks, Lethal Weapon does not count) except Felon. Nominated for an Oscar for the Buddy Holly performance. Didn’t win. Ended up on mocku-reality show My Life with Busey.
2. Joaquin Phoenix–he had a promising career with Gladiator and Signs (note to M. Night: QUIT MAKING THE SAME DAMNED MOVIE!), and gave a great performance in Walk the Line. Hell kudos on the music there Joaquin. After this performance he followed with We Own the Night, a drab and poor showing alongside Mark Wahlberg.
3. Jamie Foxx….. Ray was good, but everything else (no I didn’t like his performance in Dreamgirls)… come on folks a remake of Miami Vice? Low man, low. I hope Don slaps you upside the head. Since he stopped playing In LivingColour rejects, he takes himself too seriously. Reminds me of JIm Carrey.
4. Val Kilmer: did wonderfully as Jim Morrison, but then decided to do Island of Doctor Morreau, and what can only be described as the most awkward portrayal of Batman that I have ever seen.
5. Dennis Quaid: Played an interesting Jerry Lee Lewis in Great Balls of Fire. Has since resorted to movies with rejected actress Renee Russo and my nemesis in the acting world: ScarJo.
6. Tom Hulce- played a passionate Mozart (Oscar nominated).He then followed a few years later with Parenthood, a Disney voice-over, and more recently that atrocity known as Jumper co-starring Hayden “My entire acting range can be described as petulant” Christensen.
7. Lou Diamond Philips. Played Ritchie Valens. Has done jack all since, Young Guns aside.

One of the only blaring exceptions to this new disease is Gary Oldman, who though not living in the realm of super-stardom, has achieved a level of greatness that suits him. Following his stint as Beethoven in Immortal Beloved, he has mastered the art of signature roles in movies such as Leon the Professional, Hannibal, True Romance among others. Plus playing Sirius Black can never go wrong. Never.

So my advice to actors is as follows: If you’re going to take on a biopic, refrain from taking yourself too seriously in the aftermath. It ain’t pretty.