Bullet for my apathy

So today in the mail I got my penultimate issue of Alternative Press, a magazine I have regretted getting a subscription for last year. I have spent the last 12-month cringing every time a new issue appeared on my kitchen table, as I am too snooty to open my front door and reach over to fetch my mail. This month is actually making me want to retch after gazing at the cover/having it stare at me from my desk where I placed it as a catalyst to start writing. As we can clearly see, it has succeeded!

Folks, when did idiotic haircuts, boys who barely look 15 and trying too hard to be ironic clothing make a band? I mean I know the 80's pioneered this, but come on! The 80's was not a good decade for anyone save Michael Jackson. The issue I received today is all about a 100 bands I need to know in '08. First of all, I was not aware that I "need" to know 100 emo/fashion-core/slit my wrists I'm too punk-whiney for my own good bands this year. I figured I would just sit back and revel in my 1960's rock and be done with it. Furthermore, my eyes can no longer take the abuse they are suffering at having to witness the reemergence of hot pink and yellow being used so flippantly. Have decency! Was there a memo that was sent out that angst had a wardrobe change? I really must be behind the times in my darker coloured hoodies and my non-descript shoes. Oh woe is me. Maybe I should be into box socials and the like.

I'm a musical curmudgeon some days and I am painfully aware of this fact, but is it so much to ask for a new musical revolution? I have never been able to stomach the incessant whine, 3-chord bullshit, and the inexplicable fashion that goes along with it. When I've had the displeasure of having to sample the music, my first instinct is the shove my head through a wall, but then I put on my Pink Floyd or Christopher Cross, and all is right in the world. I am sure many thought as I do about modern music as say people thought about the Velvet Underground (let it be known I harbour a not-so secret love of John Cale). If at the very least, can we revolutionize band names? Secondhand Serenade? A Girl A Gun A Ghost? Shocking Pinks? The Virgins? That last one seems a given, but who aside from abstinence flaunters (I just made that word up... I feel ever so proud) would want a name like that? Are we trying to be ironic here folks, or pathetically attempting to sound as though we have grown-up thoughts?


I'm off to my corner now to listen to the Band and pine away for a better musical time.

Brings to my mind a new age payola

Sperm for festival passes? Damn those Europeans and their progressive ways. Brings new meaning to getting it on to music.

Will music save the world? At least re-populate it.

Hobbit Rap?

This is absolutely brilliant. Whether Tolkien would be proud or not is still debatable, but *tear*. Peter Jackson should have them on a soundtrack.

Now back to my regularly scheduled schoolwork.

Goodbye Norma Jean

Jeff Healey (1966-2008)
So another guitar legend has passed on. This saddens me. It saddens me more that I did not take the time to see him play at my local blues festival a few months ago. This only furthers my initiative to see as many musicians as possible in my lifetime. I still giggle inside at having seen John Cale from the Velvet Underground play an amazing 2 1/2 hours. Or Buddy Guy..... mmmmmm old blues men are wonderful.

But this moment should be for Jeff Healey. You fought the good fight sir, and it is a shame that out of the people from Road House, you had to go. Why could it not have been Swayze? Swayze!!!!!!!!

Say a little prayer for you!