You don't really care for music, do you?

Am listening to Horace Silver and feeling jazzercized!

Booyah!

Am also cleaning out my CD collection in the hopes of a musical revolution, or at the very least the ability to remember what I own. 500+ Cd's is a bit too much for me at the moment, so purge I shall.

As I get older the music of my youth begins to have decreased value to me. Perhaps this is a sign of my secular generation or perhaps my fickle nature is showing its true colours, but as the years pass by the artists I liked as a teen appeal a great deal less to the person I have become. What I listen to now is a far cry from what my pseudo-angsty teen self would have ever thought of listening to, or even enjoyed. Hell if I knew back then that I would own a CD of a Russian Orthodox liturgical service I would have laughed, called myself a pansy and went back to think Papa Roach were the best ever (EVER).

As my life has changed in so many ways, so have my musical preferences. My admiration now lies with deftness of hand and not soreness of vocal chords. To each their own however. There is nothing wrong with my musical past, but I have learned from it what works for me now and what doesn't.

As I sift through the music I have collected over the years it makes me smile. I smile because I have a way of documenting my musical life. Musical yearbook littered with fond summer wishes and see you in the falls. Unfortunately after tonight there will be fewer in the falls.

It is what it is.

When in Doubt, Punt

It is amazing how music evokes memories. A certain song that you shared with a lover. A summer theme you and a bunch of friends had in high school, a little ditty that had meaning for you and a best friend. I have a ton of these. A former good friend and I had "Save Tonight" by Eagle Eye Cherry as our inside joke song (we both loved it but there's a story to accompany it). Or the All 4 One "I swear" that someone dear once sang to me. The oft-sung "On My Own" from Les Miserables, and the list goes on into infinity. What they all have in common however is that they evoke some really happy memories.

Right now there's music from my past that is making a resurgence in my life, and that music is Mindless Self Indulgence. For those unaware, it is this indescribable ADD band that is good at shocking lyrically and blurring the genre guidelines. Their song "Faggot" is probably one of the most interesting songs I've ever had the chance to experience ( and love for that matter). Normally I would have no contact with this, but as my luck would have it an ex of mine got me addicted to it.

The year was 2004, and coming off the biggest heartbreak of my life, I was drowning myself in a new relationship, a rebound what have you, and with this relationship brought MSI. The rebound-boy in question was in general musically illiterate, knowing the top 4o, plus a smattering interesting bands that from time to time amused me. A colossal computer kid, he also loved electronic metal stuff, not something I had ever really been into, but I figured when in Rome. One night while talking I expressed a need for some angry music being in some angsty mindset, and he suggested this. I had never heard of them, but I got a little intrigued. I trusted this boy because he had recently got me addicted to Foamy the Squirrel. I went out and acquired their first major Cd, and became hooked. The summer of 2004 was defined by this CD alone. Come year end the relationship had ended horribly, and with it, the CD was put onto a back shelf. Nothing kills a love than a cessation of a relationship.

Every once in awhile, I would drag this CD out when I was feeling angry, or general frustration. Dealing with a moron at work, fighting with a parental unit, or having to suffer through yet another pathetic acquaintance. It always did the trick. I would sit back and let the music dissolve the hatred away.

Tonight after my usual Sunday night of cartoons, I ascended to my room and turned on my Iyiyi and pressed play. Up came MSI, and I smiled. The hazzy memories of 2004 came back. I smiled because I realized that the past is gone and done. This makes me smile because this music is a testament to the fact that even though the relationship went sour, and I don't speak to said boy anymore, I acquired something amazing from the experience (and not an STI... yay!). For that I am grateful.

So to this boy I say "Thank You". Not for the joke that was our relationship, but merely for a love of an amazing band that I acquired from my having known you.

Checkmate.